I couldn’t let National Breastfeeding Week go by without writing anything. So here I am. It has been almost 3 years since I started breastfeeding my daughter. And now here I am, lying upstairs nursing her to sleep for a nap, three days before she turns 3.
We’ve been going through a very big transition because of circumstances where I will have to be away from her at night time for the first time in a couple months, therefore, we’ve been slowly trying to wean her from those night time nursings. Im not going to lie. It’s been quite the difficult road. Even though she only nurses at nap and in the early mornings these days, milk in the night time is a very sacred thing for her and it’s been painfully hard to take it away (even though we’re being as gentle as we can throughout this process). We are still nursing in the mornings at wake up and some nap times too. So not completely weaning.
Nursing an almost 3 year old has been a challenge. I love it one day, the tender, sweet moments it brings and the next day I wonder why I ever decided to nurse so long. But it usually always comes down to ‘because Ellie still needs it’. We tend to push our children into growing up so very quickly and forget that even though they seem to know a great many things in their young years, they are still so very small and for Ellie, that closeness and ease that mamas milk brings is unlike anything else. There is no real time line with nursing for me. I’ve certainly grown weary of nursing late into the night. And routines are changing and some days , milk is much less. Ellie often asks for almond milk now or cows milk . I think she’s working toward weaning in her own ways as well. I am patient (sometimes). And I don’t think I am entirely ready to give up our nursing relationship just yet. But I do believe we are getting closer to closing this door and opening another. And when that day comes, I will look upon these days with pride and with love. I will most likely forget the challenges but keep the joy of breast feeding close to my heart.
Playing catch-up once again here on the blog. I swear I’m constantly thinking about this space, but I’ve just had so much trouble finding time to get here. So here are 29 and 30 a week or two late.
eloise: I couldn’t help myself with this one. Here we were in Washington, two years (to the day!) and in the same spot I took your portrait as last time. My you’ve grown. I’m so glad you got to visit this very special place and spend time with your Great Grandmother. I’m also so very glad you got to meet your Great Grandpa Earl before he passed away.
eloise: Summertime. Naked, reading books in her tent outside. A week away from turning 3. This portrait is the epitome of Ellie.
My Grandpa Earl passed away earlier this week. He was my Grandmother’s second husband. And although he wasn’t my real grandfather, he had been around long enough that I considered him my grandpa. I spent a week with him and my grandma when I was in my early twenties. Listened to him tell stories about his favorite things. Giving me lessons on history and the way things work. He was a painter, an oil artist. He had a beautiful studio out behind his home. The last time I went to visit, it was filled with art and supplies, but lacked his presence. His hands and heart, too tired to paint anymore.
The last time we were up visiting was when Ellie was just about to turn one. He made these delicious pancakes. We brought home his recipe and Ellie and Jeff make them every Saturday morning.
Were heading out to Washington to be with my grandmother and for the service this weekend . I will probably be absent in this space for awhile.
(My parents, grandmother, baby Ellie and Grandpa Earl).