eloise: We had so much fun together this past week. We’ve had a couple very hot, end of August weeks and so we headed down to the beach. Splashing in the water, floating boats that we made, building sand castles together, running down the beach, collecting sea glass and shells… the list goes on. This is what life is made up of. And I’m so glad to be sharing my days and my life with you.
eloise: my rascally girl.
-joining Jodi for the 52 project!
eloise: we had quite the scare these past two weeks. The Friday after your 3rd birthday, we went for your 3 year check up with the doctor. While pressing on your tummy, she found what she thought was a small abdominal mass. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but assured us it was probably nothing, but she would like us to get an ultrasound, just to make sure. The ultrasound was last Friday. You couldn’t nurse over night for the first time ever in your young life (you had to fast for the ultrasound). It was an incredibly difficult night. No one slept. You were a champ for the very long ultrasound, even though you broke down with anxiety and probably tiredness at the very end. You nursed in the parking lot afterwards. The emotions soaring through both of us. It was the longest week in a half of my life. Even though the doctor said there was probably nothing to worry about, the worst case scenarios filled my head. A future of uncertainty. I have never known fear like that. The results came back this afternoon….. All clear. Everything looked great. The doctor must have mistaken your kidney or bladder for a mass. Biggest sigh of relief. A different future was laid out in front of me again. My girl was healthy. My heart full. My heart thankful.
It’s interesting, because when I got the news, I realized how very lucky we were. Some parents get the opposite news. My heart breaks for them. I truly am blessed to have this beautiful, amazing, healthy child in my life. I love you Ellie.
More Portrait Project catch up!
Eloise: you are three! Spunky, smart, sweet, challenging, imaginative, energetic, dramatic, loving, funny, THREE!
eloise: This week has been an overwhelming one. A birthday and then a big Peter Pan birthday party. Fun, emotional, exciting and busy. A love this child so fiercely. It’s amazing we are celebrating three years with her. I’m looking forward to what 3 has in store.
I couldn’t let National Breastfeeding Week go by without writing anything. So here I am. It has been almost 3 years since I started breastfeeding my daughter. And now here I am, lying upstairs nursing her to sleep for a nap, three days before she turns 3.
We’ve been going through a very big transition because of circumstances where I will have to be away from her at night time for the first time in a couple months, therefore, we’ve been slowly trying to wean her from those night time nursings. Im not going to lie. It’s been quite the difficult road. Even though she only nurses at nap and in the early mornings these days, milk in the night time is a very sacred thing for her and it’s been painfully hard to take it away (even though we’re being as gentle as we can throughout this process). We are still nursing in the mornings at wake up and some nap times too. So not completely weaning.
Nursing an almost 3 year old has been a challenge. I love it one day, the tender, sweet moments it brings and the next day I wonder why I ever decided to nurse so long. But it usually always comes down to ‘because Ellie still needs it’. We tend to push our children into growing up so very quickly and forget that even though they seem to know a great many things in their young years, they are still so very small and for Ellie, that closeness and ease that mamas milk brings is unlike anything else. There is no real time line with nursing for me. I’ve certainly grown weary of nursing late into the night. And routines are changing and some days , milk is much less. Ellie often asks for almond milk now or cows milk . I think she’s working toward weaning in her own ways as well. I am patient (sometimes). And I don’t think I am entirely ready to give up our nursing relationship just yet. But I do believe we are getting closer to closing this door and opening another. And when that day comes, I will look upon these days with pride and with love. I will most likely forget the challenges but keep the joy of breast feeding close to my heart.