I’m having a hard time posting here. I want to write and post more about our day-to-day and the projects I’m working on. But, to tell you the honest truth, it’s because I’ve been struggling with some anxiety. I’ve always had anxiety even as a child. I think growing up with a stutter didn’t help my anxiety but I’ve managed to push through all these years, relatively unscathed. These past few weeks have been a bit different though. Maybe because I’m older, maybe because I have another little person to look after and not just myself. My anxiety got so high, I struggled through a couple of panic attacks last week and the week before. I feel weird putting all of this out there, but I didn’t want to hide it and keep on blogging like everything was fine and dandy. I want to be open and not only express and document the positive aspects of my life in this space, but talk about the very personal aspects as well. Make sure to be “keeping it real.” I am feeling better now. After a trip to several doctors, I have a plan in place and plenty of help in family and friends to get me feeling less anxious.I’m eager to move forward and write about the projects I’m working on and what Ellie is up to, but I really felt like I’d be lying if I didn’t post about what’s been at the forefront of my life these days, this anxiety and maybe even a little bit of depression. Anxiety is a tough thing to deal with, maybe the toughest thing I’ve dealt with thus far. But, every day, I remind myself to breathe in and breathe out… and continue on the best I can.
* quietly joining back in with Just Write.
This weekend I had a little garage sale. Made a few bucks but passed a lot more on to Goodwill. We stumbled upon a Halloween event downtown and just so happened to have Ellie’s “Ana cape” with us, so we joined the fun. Sunday was food shopping, family bike rides and afternoon trips to the park. This weekend went by way to quickly for my taste. How was your weekend? Everyone ready for Halloween?
eloise: “No Mama, no! I running away from you!”
(pretty much sums up the past couple weeks… oh two, you are tough so far).
-joining Jodi for the 52 project.
“A single photo. No words. Capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.” -joining soulemama
This weekend we went to Ojai Day which happens to be a neighboring town for us. It was a vibrant, colorful festival of the town itself, with local artisans (@finchleystitches is the lovely embroidered art pictured here) and music, animals for the children to see and an incredible display of yarn bombing, that was just spectacular to see. The rest of the weekend was spent doing chores and taking it easy. How was your weekend?
– joining Pumpkin sunrise!
eloise: you are looking more and more like a little kid and less like my baby these days. You want to put your shoes on and pick out your clothes all by yourself. You get quiet and sullen when you are feeling uncomfortable or sad. You throw your toys or roll around on the ground when you’re angry. You tell me “I yuv you Mama.” And hold tight to my neck when I pick you up. You tell me, “Milk makes me happy Mama.”
You helped pick Dada’s pumpkin and you found the perfect little one for you. Then you wanted to find one for Pink Baby too. I’m often bone tired at the end of the day with the non stop play and emotions and struggles this age brings. But, I am seeing a little person forming here. A sweet, spunky, loving, determined little person. And I’m just so blessed to be watching you grow.
-joining Jodi for the 52 project!
“A single photo. Capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.” – joining soulemama
A morning at the pumpkin patch. We had planned to take a drive to a bigger farm and patch that day but things didn’t quite work out, so we headed about 5 minutes away to our local patch. It was another very hot weekend, so it was a sweaty and quick trip to the pumpkin patch this year, but I think Ellie enjoyed herself very much. We visited with the animals, picked our pumpkins and got to take a hay ride to the original part of the farm. The end of the day was spent with the grandparents (who helped Ellie carve her pumpkin) and for dessert, some festive brew served in a cinnamon sugar rimmed glass.
The rest of the weekend was for laundry and rest and catching up on odds and ends.
*Just for fun, Last year’s pumpkin patch visit, the year before that!
How was your weekend?
eloise: you sit in your room with a band-aid in your hand. We had walked all the way to the store on a very hot afternoon to buy you some band aids that you had requested after falling down and scraping your knee. When we bought them, you didn’t want to put one on your boo boo. In fact, you seemed frightened by the idea, that just seconds before, you had been giddy about. So we walked all the way back home carrying the box of band aids and you sat in your room holding them. Carrying them around like little paper princess medals (you chose the pink princess ones, of course). Once you figured out how to open one, you were eager to open them all. But put one on your boo boo? No way. They go on top of your pants, that way everyone can see where you have a wound. 😉
-joining Jodi for the 52 project!
“A single photo. No Words. Capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.” – joining Soulemama!