I lay propped up on pillows, a warm little body snuggled up next to me. The white noise machine has now become a familiar song, relaxing not only the littlest among us but my own weary body as well. She stirs every so often, grabbing hold of me, making sure I am still there. Then she lets out a sigh and I go on reading.
There has been a shift. I am upstairs and he is downstairs. I spend my early evenings now curled up next to a small, sweet-smelling body while he relaxes downstairs. Unwinds from his day with out me. We used to spend hours on the couch curled up with each other at night, now we unwind separately. This shift seems to have gone unnoticed by him. It’s funny how men just go on and women think about things and worry and think about things and worry some more. He unwinds and comes up when he’s ready. I don’t mind being up here with a sleeping babe. I like the quiet, the sounds of the night, the angel face I get to stare at and fall more deeply in love with every night. Her sleepy smiles making me melt with Mama love. But I think about this shift often these days and I do miss that man and our pre-baby unwinding together. I wonder if he misses me?