I carried my big, sleepy four year old out of the car and up the stairs to my bedroom. “Mama, can I sleep in your room tonight?” She says in a whisper. “Okay my love.”
I lay her down on my bed and cuddle up to her. I rub her back and start singing her favorite bedtime song, “Goodnight my Someone.” The only song I’m “allowed” to sing at night time. She falls asleep quickly and easily. Something that she was never very good at. I smile at the sight of her slow and steady breathing, and head downstairs.
Almost five years of being a Mother. It doesn’t sound like very much saying it out loud, but I can’t remember my life before becoming a mom.
Today I spent the day with my mom and the rest of my family. We had lunch, we chatted about motherhood, we walked and talked about life and marriage with kids. It was a really nice day. Nothing special or extraordinary, but a day to treasure. I am so very lucky to be able to drive a few miles and be at my parents house. Spend these precious moments with them. A friend of mine had recently told me about her mother and how she lost her to cancer many years ago. She never even got to meet her first born daughter. My Mom has had cancer twice as well as heart issues. I know how precious time with your loved ones is. And I know I am so very lucky to have the relationship I do with my mom. She is my best friend, my confidant, my inspiration, my guide, my mentor. When I see her with Ellie, I am in awe at how amazing she is with her. She gave her everything to us as kids, putting a career aside to be home with us, caring, gentle, fun and always there for us and now here she is, giving her everything to her grand daughter too.
I can only hope that one day Ellie will feel the same way about me.
To my dear Mother, on Mothers Day,
You inspire me daily with your strength
and your love, your patience and joy.
Thank you for all you’ve given me and my daughter.
Happy Mothers Day. I love you Mom.