We met at my best friend’s wedding seven years ago. He couldn’t take his eyes off of me as I stood in line for coffee. I couldn’t stop talking to him all. night. long.
He proposed on the hottest day of summer in a full suit and tie, nearly five and a half years ago.
We got married in my hometown, with our good friend as the deputy and all of our dearest family and friends surrounding us with love. That was four years ago, today.
Happy Anniversary my love.
We met up with some good friends of mine and their babies this week. They took us to the most lovely of children’s libraries where we spent the day letting our toddlers toddle around, catching up in between wrangling said toddlers and of course reading lots of books.
It’s like magic for me, watching my loved ones play an instrument. The notes float by like Disney birds singing a song. It lifts me up and brings a smile to my face each time I hear a chord or a melody created. I suppose it stems from growing up with a Dad who taught himself to play the guitar. There were always weekends full of lazy day guitar strumming. Tunes I would hum from childhood to adulthood, sticking with me like girl scout badges, proud to wear the melodies of Pat Methany, Vince Guarldi, Billie Holiday, The Beatles and so many others. “My Dad plays the guitar”, I would tell my friends with a boastful smile. They thought it was cool. He was hip. His music was like magic and happy days.
My brother played guitar too and clarinet.
Sounds of each instrument molded into my being.
The low quack of the clarinet, the buzz of the reed against his mouth. Each thick note lingered in the air with horn-like quality, exclaiming how music mattered. The quicker pace of my brothers guitar playing, making way for stronger strumming, heavier music my ears sometimes left behind. I told my friends, “My brother plays the guitar”. They thought he was dreamy. They went to see him play in smokey clubs in Los Angeles. The music was strong and smelled of vodka and too many cheap beers. But sometimes he would strum a tune familiar. I would smile and the magic would make my heart light again.
I decided on the flute. Girly. Closest to my soprano voice. Something I never learned to love. But magic was sometimes there when my notes would help others bring harmony together. It was mostly lovely when playing with others. Christmas carols played on high. The uneasy vibratos of young women finding their voice through metal-plated keys. Slightly off-key but always with heart. Years I gave, half of myself to the flute. Wanting to be great at playing an instrument just like the men in my life, but not having the drive or love for the instrument to become great like them.
6. He must be able to play an instrument. My journal outlines the perfect husband.
He picks up the banjo and starts to pick. I love that there’s an instrument in my home. I love the sound it makes. It’s magic. It makes me smile. He spends two days reading and learning and practicing the notes over and over. He tells me he will learn Pretty Flowers for me. I get weak in the knees and decide to marry him. All over again. I haven’t the pleasure yet of knowing the way the banjo sounds deep and live. I know I will soon. Right now it’s the pluck, pluck, pluck of the strings and a distant familiar sound from music I’ve heard. The banjo makes me want to live free on a farm, hanging clothes on the line, smiling at children running around in the summer grass. The banjo makes me think of home-brew and sun teas and lazy weekends, singing. Memories to hopefully come. Memories just a dream right now. He sits in the chair plucking away and Ellie toddles over to watch him. She smiles at me and then looks up to her Daddy making music, at the magic Daddy is making.
– joining Heather for Just Write. (An exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments).
A pretty low-key weekend again. We are all still getting healthy from a head cold that made its way through the house, so we decided to take it easy. Lots of reading of board books around these parts. I do declare, we have a lover of books around these parts. We did however head out to the next town over to bring back a special early Christmas present back for Jeff. A banjo. He’s been wanting one for a while now and we found one this weekend at a price we couldn’t pass up. He’s been practicing all weekend and loving it! And I have to say, it’s always been on my “perfect husband list” to marry a man who played an instrument. Now, hopefully in a few months I can cross that off the list and declare him “the perfect husband”.
We spent the morning, after picking up the banjo in town, walking around and milling about. Ellie’s new favorite thing is pushing her umbrella stroller around (she LOVES umbrella strollers and ONLY umbrella strollers. Don’t try to stick her in anything else, unless it’s Gramma and Grandpa’s push car).
Sunday was spent reading and relaxing and then a special dinner at my parents house. A lovely dinner, a lovely walk afterward and a lovely weekend over all.
How was your weekend spent?
-joining Amanda at The Habit!
LISTENING: We took a mid week lunch time visit to the Wednesday antique market here in town and came home with a few new (old) records for our listening pleasure. Karen and John have been singing non-stop in our home ever since with a bit of Johnny thrown in as well from last weekend’s yard sailing. I’m still loving playing records in the house and Ellie will even go over and pick one or two out as well, almost daily. She’s been liking Raffi’s Everything Grows and Ernie and Bert’s Rubber Duckie Album (how could she not?)
As for MAKING, I finally got around to making a new batch of granola. We’ve been on a toast and peanut butter breakfast binge for a while and I was itching to get back to my yummy yogurt and granola mornings but couldn’t find the time to get it together. Yesterday was that day and now we have plenty of granola for a couple of weeks at least.
I’ve also been keeping up with a wabi sabi practice I had read about a few months back. The recommendation was “whenever a pebble or small stone catches your fancy, pick it up and put it in your pocket. ” The chapter goes on to talk about arranging these natural treasures inside your home, moving them around and arranging them in an aesthetically pleasing way thus cultivating a passion for the little, everyday, seemingly mundane things in life. It really makes me feel good to find that perfect rock or piece of wood on my daily walks and give it a new life on my windowsill. I’m finding this practice brings me back to my childhood where everything natural was sacred and interesting and it helps me to truly see the beauty in the everyday. I feel a calm, zen come over me when I roll that special rock around in my hand after finding it, examining it over, feeling the grooves and seeing the patterns. And it’s nice to bring a little bit of nature inside and display it like I would flowers in a vase or a picture of our family. A simple yet meaningful practice to include in our lives.
what are you Making and Listening to?
Joining Dawn (after a long hiatus) with MAKING+LISTENING!
“May I be happy
May I be safe
May I be well
May I be peaceful”
– from Sarah Napthali’s Buddhism for Mother’s of Young Children
It’s the second week of my soulful september. Every day I read something, write something, move, and meditate. I have to be honest with you. It’s been tough truly doing and finding time for all of these things every day. I’m wanting each of them to be so meaningful and I’m struggling with not being able to put in all the effort I want while tending to the needs of others and keeping house. I am keeping a written list by my bed of the things I’m doing every day and the first couple days went very well and the next couple days I didn’t even have time to write anything down! But, the month has just begun and there is still so much time to fill up this Soulful September. So, I’m staying optimistic and will continue on…
Some of last weeks reading:
This lovely article about Charlotte’s Web.
Chapters from Buddhism For Mothers of Young Children
Chapters from Wabi Sabi: Timeless wisdom for a stress-free life
This witty piece about a pig and buying local.
Moving, has been mostly walks with the dogs or walks with Ellie. Jeff and I are really enjoying our evening walks. Ellie gets wrapped up in the rainbow wrap, dogs get a slow but steady neighborhood walk and we get to really talk and connect. Jeff has even decided to do his own 30 day challenge, keeping a food diary, getting out to exercise every day and once a week getting out into the garage for some woodworking. He’s hoping to finish a wood project by the end of the month. If nothing else, this project has inspired him and that makes my soul happy in itself! I’d also like to incorporate some yoga or stretching into my morning rhythm as well, so that’s something I’ll be working toward.
Writing and meditating have been the toughest to fit in. I try to blog as often as I can (so I’m counting that as writing), I also occasionally write for this website, but I would like to do more journaling with pen and paper and I’m working on fitting that in daily. Meditating happens in the daily flow. I try to breathe in and out and smile when taking a walk outside. Before bed I try to say a mantra to let go of all the thoughts in my head. I would like to spend maybe 15 minutes a day really meditating and connecting with my breath, so that will be a work in progress as well.
How are your challenges going? What are you working on this month?
It’s International Breastfeeding Week this week and since I’m already on a roll telling birth stories and such, I might as well open up even more and talk about my breastfeeding journey. A journey Ellie and I are still on at almost 12 months, might I add.
I mention “nursing” a lot on this blog. It’s really become just a part of my every day world. Ellie has always been breastfed and because I am lucky enough to stay home with her, we never even bothered with a bottle at all. She has been truly, exclusively breastfed. I knew I would breastfeed. My mom breastfed me and my siblings and for an extended amount of time. Breastfeeding was very normalized in my family and so I just assumed that is what I would do with my baby. In the begininng though, it was difficult. Ellie wasn’t gaining enough weight and being a sleepy baby we were having to wake her often to nurse. I was constantly worried I wasn’t doing things right. I suffered from oversupply and Ellie spit up constantly and seemed to have a bit of reflux, which made me even more anxious. I found myself going back to the hospital lactation consultants for reassurance. The last time I went, the mother next to me was crying because she couldn’t get her baby to latch correctly and had bleeding nipples from trying so hard. I realized after seeing what that poor mother was going through, that I was doing just fine and I needed to relax. I put away my pen and paper and stopped counting feedings and which side I nursed on last and our breastfeeding relationship immediatly got better. I relaxed, Ellie seemed to relax and it just clicked. Now we are coming up on twelve months and are still nursing strong.
Just beginning the breastfeeding journey.
Breastfeeding has been so incredible. The bond I have with Ellie through breastfeeding is so strong. Nursing helps when she’s tired, it helps when she gets hurt, it helps when she’s sick. It’s the something we have that no one else can give her. It has gotten easier as we have learned to nurse in baby carriers and on the go and as I have needed to nurse in many public spaces, my views of breastfeeding have evolved as well. I used to believe in modesty and trying to cover up but nursing a hungry baby who would rather not have a blanket draped over her head when she’s eating (who would?) has made me feel we should be doing more to normalize seeing breastfeeding instead of trying to cover it up.
Now that she’s eating more and more solids and she’s almost a toddler, nursing has been quite different than the sleepy days of infancy. She likes her milk on the go, she’s constantly moving (a friend explained, these are the days of “gymnurstics”). Sometimes she’s so busy, I have to remind her to come nurse a little bit. But at night time we always come back to that deep connection that nursing brings. She pats my breast and sometimes gives me the baby sign for milk. For her, nursing is a comforting, happy, Mama-made thing and I love that I can give that to her. She’s nearing a year and people are already asking me if I plan to stop breastfeeding. Like any relationship you can’t just end it and I don’t want or plan to. At the moment, I plan to let her self-wean. Of course this may change with how we both feel later on (I believe extended breastfeeding needs to be something both Mom and baby want and are comfortable with) but I don’t think Ellie is ready to wean in the least and that is just fine with me. I feel like I’m not only giving her this incredible nutrition that my body makes tailored exclusively for her, but nursing also provides that special comfort, a quiet few minutes for the both of us to reflect upon the love we have for each other.
– Joining Mothering’s “Blogging about Breastfeeding Event“! Check it Out!
And Happy Nursing!
We celebrated my brother’s birthday this weekend at my parents house. We spent time with family and good friends. We moved around some furniture. We prepped for Ellie’s upcoming first birthday party. We went grocery shopping. We took walks. We listened to new (old) vinyl. We danced to jazz and Disney. We made french toast with maple syrup. We threw balls around the house. We ate curry pork chops and sweet potatoes for dinner.
Ellie and I are getting ready to go on a little trip next week to visit my Grandmother (Ellie’s Great-Grandmother) in Seattle. I may or may not be here in this space next week. We shall see.
Hoping you all had lovely weekends! I’m off to pack!
-joining Amanda for Weekending!
These have been slow days. Lots of napping, lots of walks in the early morning before the heat settles in and walks in the evening after dinner when the beachy fog cools everything off. The tent has been taken down and besides our walks we’ve kept inside, trying to clear this yucky cold from our sinuses and chests. Lots of nursing, lots of tea, lots of naps under the fan… lots of quiet, slowness, so that we can get well and begin our summertime play.
(okay this is getting posted a little late but I’m sick and have been trying to rest up all day and forgot I had written this like two days before the actual Solstice)…
Happy Summer Solstice! I wanted to get those summer goals up on the blog so I can delve into them right away! I’m taking it easy on myself this season. I have a very busy ten month old and it’s probably goal enough to keep her safe and happy. But, I wanted to put some things out there for the season. Some doable goals I think:
1. I would like to finish a book this summer. I have started a few but can’t seem to get through any of them. I’m hoping to finish up this one soon and begin this one that I picked up in Boston. I like reading one good historical novel every summer. I believe last year I read Steinbeck’s East of Eden and loved it. This year the history is a bit thicker but I’m hoping it will be an interesting read now that I’m a mother.
2. I consider myself a seasonal person. I like living my life through the ebb and flow of the seasons. Yes, they are slight here in California but I still feel them in my heart and soul. I like warm colors, soups and knit blankets in the winter and bright colors, watermelon and tank tops in the summer. I have a winter wall hanging in our living room that I quilted last year. I told Jeff I’d like to have a wall hanging for every season, reflecting the colors of that season. I think a quilt for every season might be pushing it, but maybe two would be doable…. a fall/ winter one and a spring/ summer one? I’m going to try and make that spring/ summer one come to life this summer.
3. Ellie will be one this August!! Ahhh! I can’t believe it. I have a lot to do to prepare for her first birthday but one thing I have been wanting to do since she was born was put together a first year album for her. I may use this site again because I liked how Jeff’s Father’s Day book came out.
4. I was doing yoga off and on in my pre baby days and dabbled in a little bit of prenatal yoga as well. Now that I’m almost a year post-partum, I’m feeling the itch to get back into those yoga poses and start my practice again. So this summer I’m planning to find myself a studio or find myself a good home dvd.
5. This knitting thing is a tough one. Jeff bought me a crap load of knitting needles for Christmas that I have yet to touch. Jeff’s sister over Christmas even taught me how to cast on but that was the first and last time I have touched a pair of knitting needles. A few months back I bought this to make for Ellie. It requires some knitting. Knitting for a little stuffed bunny. Now, knitting for a stuffed bunny doesn’t seem as daunting as knitting for my own child or myself, soooo, I’m hoping to start my knitting this summer with this project. Wish me luck!
There you have it, my summer goals. Here’s to hoping it’s a lovely, busy, relaxing, sun-filled few months.
summerplayshouse 